5 Ways Your Emotions Are Aging You

When I ask you to think about the different things we do that age us before our years what comes to mind? You might have (correctly) guessed the usual suspects like chain smoking, binge drinking or processed foods. While we can pat ourselves on the back for eating organic and taking our supplements on the way to the spin class, there’s another culprit a little closer to home you might not have considered.

This one is a big deal, a really big deal. And we do it all the time. You might even be doing it right now. No, it’s not forgetting your sunscreen or having too much sugar with your coffee and cream this morning. This one is much more destructive, silent and we do it all the time.

It’s your emotions. Now I’m not talking about having an emotion because it’s common sense that without them we would be robots living a lifeless, cardboard – like existence. I mean when we hold on those emotions with a white - knuckle grip or rehearse them over and over until our faces reveal the world within. We need them to experience all that life has to offer in a deep and meaningful way.

However, keeping your emotions bottled up or routinely flying off the handle you have made frenemies with one of your biggest anti aging weapons. All the Botox out there will not erase the ‘I need a rage room now’ stamp on your forehead or the Anxious Annie tightness that is putting out your mojo. Take a look at how these emotions are betraying the zest and vitality that is your birthright.

Anger:

I sing a song to my baby nephew that goes “Elephants have wrinkles, wrinkles, wrinkles. Elephants have wrinkles, wrinkles everywhere”. It goes on to list the places they have wrinkles. You could easily replace the ‘elephants’ with the ‘angry’. Apart from accelerated wrinkles all over your face, those number 11’s between the eyebrows are the obvious tell. They speak of a boatload of resentment and frustration for the world to see. Perma - frown is not doing him or herself any favors. Along with strengthening the muscles we use to frown, anger is also giving us age spots and a sallow complexion.

I’m not for a minute saying that anger or any emotion for that matter should not be expressed. It must be or have a whole host of other problems. Try five minutes of going at it on a punching bag to get it out instead of snapping at your kids. Maybe a meditation class to help you deal. You can friend your anger in a way it becomes a fuel for trailblazing ahead with your projects, work or relationships.

Grief:

We go through all kinds of loss in our lives. Be it the loss of an important person or an event. Perhaps it’s your identity or a material possession. Loss happens. Grief gets us through the loss. After we feel that grief, there comes a time to let go of it for life to bloom once again.

So how does unchecked grief show up? Your complexion tells your life story. Dull? Dry? Lifeless? Breaking out? Maybe there is a loss you need to grieve still. Really deep and pronounced ‘smile lines’ are not always the result of joy. They are also nothing to smile at when you might be holding onto something, or maybe not allowing yourself to feel it at all.

The best way to tap into it is to use sadness to get the tears flowing. Watch ‘The Notebook. Even better do it with a friend or someone you trust. The world and your face will look much more refreshed after a good cry.

If keeping grief bottled up leads to despair then playing it out inappropriately feels worse. In that case take a look at your situation with a different emotional lens. It’s possible that losing your job was the best thing for you and now you can finally take that trip you wanted. Much like a tree losing it’s leaves in the fall, we too must grieve and release if we want to renew and regenerate again. Your skin will thank you.

Worry:

Does your life circumstance keep you tossing and turning at night? Are you the friend everyone turns to in a crisis? As a result are you the one who takes on everyone’s stuff? If you answered yes to any of these can you take a look in the mirror and see if your face has checked in everyone else’s baggage along with your own. That worry and anguish has transferred as sagginess, jowls and puffy eyes. The weight of the world is literally becoming the mask you wear.

Before you reach for that bucket of ice cold water to shove your face in, take a few minutes and breathe. A deep, long breath might even turn into a relaxing yawn. Get grounded and find ease again. Embrace your nurturing spirit and genuine concern of others. But don’t get lost in it so much so that you forget yourself. Ask yourself if in five years, situation x will really matter? Or is there something or some one you can drop? Firm up your boundaries with others and see how your face does the same.

Fear:

This is one serious radiance zapping, youth sucking emotion. Sure, we need fear so we can get out of the way of danger but unbalanced fear makes us withdrawn, passive and unable to embrace life. It also presents as dark circles under the eyes, premature graying and hair loss. Not to mention overall body weakness, especially in the low back and knees. You are literally turbo aging before your eyes. Fear exhausts our adrenal glands, which produce adrenaline when we are in a ‘fight or flight’ situation. Have you ever noticed that animals shake after a fearful situation?

After they have run from a predator, they literally shake off the excess fear energy to release it. They don’t stay in it or else they will drain their energy reserves. Humans can do the same thing with the same benefits. Either while facing fear or thinking about something that scares you, do a whole body shake. Physically moving like that can help to change the charge that the fear produces. After you shake a bit, what action step can you take to change your fear around a situation?

Reassure yourself that you don’t have to live in fear and can flourish in spite of it. Many of our fears are not immediate life threatening dangers. Where are you letting it block you from all the possibilities you have available to you? Jot down a list of your top three fears and get on it. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, Lao Tsu tells us. You can start to feel and look better by living fearlessly.

Anxiety:

The overall unease and suffering that anxiety causes is hugely distressing and hugely aging. It can lead to a very joyless, empty existence where we are in constant rumination over what’s to come. We’re never present because we are so internally wound up and tight. Try as you might, that never looks healthy or vibrant.

In fact it looks like stress threw up on your face. Your complexion is pale or really red. Your expression looks stiff and guarded and the ‘life force’ within is gone. Your spirit is dulled as your turmoil takes over. Sheesh! That is not any way to live!

Restore your shine and brightness by connecting with what brings you joy and befriend that. What are you passionate about? Maybe there’s something you loved doing as a kid or always wanted to try. Do it! The old adage of laughter being the best medicine is key here. Laughter releases endorphins in the body that help with your overall state health not just aging. Name one authentically joyful person you know that looks old or worn out before their time. Bet you can’t, so watch those funny movies or ridiculous you tube clips to help you get started. Aim for at least 5 minutes of deep belly laughter a day. It forces you to be present. This is a terrific contradiction to the unconsciousness of anxiety.

There you have it. A short guide to what your face might be telling you about your emotional health and vice versa. You now know what to look for when you look in the mirror and what it says about how you are feeling. Even more important, you have some strategies and understanding on how your healthy emotions can be your best anti aging weapon. Here’s to feeling fully and unleashing your ageless vitality!